so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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