I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
