The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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