Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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