My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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