How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
