carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
