Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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