woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
