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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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