Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't deserve a penis
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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