I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
