Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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