yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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