Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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