She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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