She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
