so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i dont even know how to be here
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
