dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
