i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
