we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
