she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
