Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
