Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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