Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
