Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
