k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
