Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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