eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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