No, you can still breathe under the balls.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
