Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
