I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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