doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
