Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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