so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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