dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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