Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
