i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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