I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
