I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I want is dick and wine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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