No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
