The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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