well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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