At least make sure they are 18
Why
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
