And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
