I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
