i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
