wanna go halves on a baby?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
