yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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