dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
