If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am spending my child support on dildos
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
