They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
