he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
