hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
