man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
