you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i came on her dog
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
