hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
